SailtotheMoon Page 6

  The doorbell rang again. Thank God she had an excuse to get off the sofa. The men hardly noticed as she escaped to the door, but on looking through the peephole, she saw it wasn’t the nurse.

  She opened the door. “Kelsie, what are you doing—” She broke off as she spied the figure behind Kelsie, the one she hadn’t seen. Riku Shiraishi. Self-consciousness swept over her, as it hadn’t before. She put her hand to her badly tied ponytail, tweaking it back into place, aware as she hadn’t been with Zazz of her unmade-up face and her dowdy work clothes. Kelsie wore the outfit she’d had on the night before. Riku’s red and gold striped hair, his coat and boots gave him the look of a pirate. But since he wore a pair of ordinary jeans and a T-shirt with a dragon emblazoned on it, Laura presumed that this, for Riku, was dressing casual.

  “Am I in the way?” He tilted his head to one side, slid a pair of shades out of his pocket and put them on. The action distanced him.

  “N-no. How did you find out—” She glared at Kelsie. “You told him.”

  Kelsie gave her a helpless shrug. In Laura’s experience, Kelsie was far from helpless. “Jimmy Asano is one of his idols, he tells me.”

  Riku glanced around. Jimmy lived in the ex-council flat that he’d rented for most of his life in Manchester. Zazz had bought it for him and had it decorated more comfortably, but Jimmy refused to move out to somewhere better. While the area had gentrified somewhat in recent years, it still held danger for an old man living alone. What Riku was seeing wouldn’t imbue him with confidence. Laura knew that Riku came from a wealthy Japanese-American family. Although he’d spent some years learning his trade in London, this wouldn’t be the kind of family home he was used to.

  “How did you get out of the hotel?” she asked, wildly searching for time. She would have left Zazz and his father to talk in a little while, slipped away when the nurse arrived. Now that had gone to cock. She couldn’t leave Jimmy with a houseful of guests. He tired easily, and she had to make sure they left him in peace soon.

  Riku shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Taxi, then we walked.” He lifted the sunglasses and met her anxious gaze. “Nobody followed us.”

  “I asked him to make sure of it,” Kelsie said. Had she spent the night with Riku? So intent on Zazz, Laura hadn’t noticed.

  Thankful for small mercies, Laura let them in because someone would recognize Riku soon if she didn’t. Zazz’s navy-blue hair was nothing compared to Riku’s flamboyant locks, and since he had the same style at the concert the night before, he wouldn’t go unnoticed. As if in answer to her question, Riku pulled a black knitted cap from his pocket and flourished it. “Trick of the trade,” he told her with a devilish grin.

  With the sunglasses and the hat, he could almost pass for normal. Except for the attraction that poured off him, the air of confidence and fuck-you that emanated from every member of the band.

  She led the way to the small living room. Zazz sat with his back to the door, but at their entrance, he looked around. “Oh fuck, man.”

  “Nice welcome,” said Riku, although he didn’t seem the least put out. “You beat me to it. This because your girlfriend is his social worker?”

  In the pregnant silence, Jimmy glanced from Laura to Zazz and back, his silvery brow raised.

  “It’s because he’s my father.”

  This surprised Riku into a long, awed, “Fuuuuuck.” He cleared his throat. “Fucking sweet. How come you never told me? You know I love Jimmy A’s recordings. When Kelsie told me he lived here, in Manchester, I thought I’d heard everything. Seems the big reveal had yet to come.” He walked forward, hand outstretched. “Jesus, I can’t tell you how great it is to finally meet you. Jimmy A in person. I thought you were—”

  “Dead.” Jimmy cackled. “Not quite yet. And you’re Riku?”

  “Sure. I’m tickled, that’s it.” Without hesitation, Riku sank down to sit cross-legged on the carpet. At the feet of the master.

  There’d be no stopping Jimmy after this. With his small congregation assembled, he started to preach. He gave his anecdotes, ones that Laura had heard before, over and over, and yet these men listened, Riku enthralled, Zazz with wry amusement quirking his mouth. She’d bet he’d heard them before too.

  Jimmy abruptly stopped mid-flow and tilted his head, studying his son with renewed interest. “So is Laura your girlfriend?” Then he carried on as if he’d said nothing. Sharper than he seemed. It made Zazz wonder how frail he was too. The old man had always been a wily one. He knew how to work the system of wherever he happened to be and if appearing extra frail got him more perks, then he’d do it.

  Good luck to him. Jimmy’s working the system had gained Zazz a father instead of a soulless children’s home. Or worse. Jimmy had told the hospital that somebody cared about him, and that might have meant the difference between life and death. Made baby Zazz’s existence meaningful to someone, meant they’d try that little bit harder.

  Zazz’s gaze met Laura’s, locked and held, the moment as intimate as anything they’d done the night before. Interrupting one of Jimmy’s stories about John Coltrane, taking exactly the right moment in a pause between reminiscences in timing as perfect as the performance the night before, he said, “Yes, I suppose you could call her my girlfriend.” He held out his hand to her. “If she wants it. I was a bastard to her last night, and she might not want me. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t.”

  She should ignore it. He’d treated her badly, and she didn’t take that shit from anyone. But he’d apologized fully and completely. So did abusers, she knew that too, and he’d behaved like one, showering her with attention one moment, treating her like dirt the next. In her line of work she came across that behavior far too often.

  He was asking for her trust now. If she spurned him, he’d look foolish, and Jimmy would probably crow with laughter and tell her she did right. If she took it, she might be letting herself in for who knew how much doormattery. But how did she know? Had years of dealing with the worst behavior in society turned her cynical, made her expect the worst? Because he could have behaved badly that once, and his apology could be sincere.

  If she didn’t act, she’d never find out. In a moment fueled by her heart rather than her head, Laura took his proffered hand and, prepared for the impact of his touch, didn’t either flinch or cling. “After one night?” She did her best to give a cynical smile but she suspected she’d put too much warmth into it.

  “Why not?” He tugged her hand, impelling her to sit next to him. Closer this time, but he put his arm over the back of the sofa again, not around her shoulders, so she supposed that had to be a good thing.

  Except that somehow she was pressed against his chest, and somehow she was waking from the sleep she’d promised herself she’d take later in the day.

  Kelsie was sitting close to Riku on the floor, imitating his cross-legged pose. Like the others, she was listening to Jimmy talk. But the moment she opened her eyes Laura saw that Jimmy was getting tired, and when he got tired he got cranky.

  Like a cue in a play, the doorbell rang.

  The nurse managed to do what Laura had failed to do. She got all four of them out of the flat by promising Jimmy the treat of a sponge bath. That was something Jimmy thoroughly enjoyed, and not because he needed to get clean. This nurse didn’t need a chaperone, a hardened district nurse of many years, easily able to cope with Jimmy’s flirting. Laura promised to call back on Monday and signed off on that day’s visit, getting out the forms and marking the time down. One day her department would get automated, give its staff tablets or laptops to use, but she couldn’t see it coming.

  Out of the flat she was prepared to go off on her own since Riku and Zazz had gotten into an altercation about why Zazz hadn’t told Riku about his father before, something she wasn’t listening to. Her head still spun with her unexpected nap, she decided to go. They wouldn’t miss her. All that girlfriend stuff was just for show.

  Faster than a striking snake, Zazz reached
out and grabbed her hand, hauling her to his side, but he still talked to Riku. “The old man is and always will be an addict. His health’s bad. When Murder City Ravens got big, the last thing he needed was press attention. It’d get him riled.”

  “I’ve only ever known you as Zazz. Is that your baptismal name?”

  Zazz burst into laughter. “You know, that’s the best joke I’ve heard all day. Baptismal? Sure. It’s not the name on my passport. I’m James Asano.”

  Kelsie rolled her eyes at Laura, but she didn’t see any reason for Kelsie’s exasperation. “We can’t argue in the street.”

  People were walking by. Although Riku had pulled on his cap, he couldn’t disguise the fact that he wore blusher and eyeliner, or that he wore clothes that were obviously expensive. In this district, that was like shouting, “Look at me!” Zazz’s jeans, T-shirt and black pea coat were pretty much classless, and his hair at least dark, but he was tall, and people were looking.

  Both men turned on Kelsie. “Who’s arguing?” Riku demanded. “What do you say? Gobsmacked. That’s what I am. Gobsmacked.” He pronounced the word with relish, and both he and Zazz stilled.

  “No,” said Zazz.

  “Oh fuck yes,” Riku answered. “You know there’s a song in this. We need to work on it.”

  Zazz glanced around. “She’s right. Not here. Get back to the hotel. I’ll see you there in an hour.”

  Riku shrugged and nodded. Thrusting his hands in his pockets, he set off for the main road at the end of the street. After giving Laura a conspiratorial grin, Kelsie followed him, hurrying to keep up.

  “Riku’s quite something, isn’t he?” she murmured.

  “You’d rather have him than me?”

  Laura turned to face Zazz. “No. What did you mean by the things you said in there? Was it to save face?”

  Zazz put his hands on her shoulders, brought her closer, but not close enough to hold in his arms. Not yet. “Last night we started something. When I threw you out, it wasn’t you, it was the thought of my dad. You hit a sore spot. You made me realize that I needed to get back in touch. It would have broken him if I’d left Manchester without talking to him.” Yes, she acknowledged silently, it would. “You got me there, in a place I’d avoided visiting for years. He couldn’t help what he did. He’s an addict, and when I left for London, an active one. I had to get away for my own good, but you were right about the other shit. He’d brought me up, he’d taken me with him, shared his life with me. Without him, I could have died or ended in care.” His voice gained a sardonic edge. “That wouldn’t have ended well. So thanks for bringing us back together. I mean it.”

  “It was like you’d only been away for a day.” Her parents would have closed the door on her.

  “I’d take off sometimes and when I came back, he never asked me where I’d been or who I’d been with. He waited for me to tell him, and I always did, eventually. It was always like that. I know he has a computer because I bought him one. Does he use it?”

  “He does.”

  “So when I’ve gone from here, we can carry on talking.” He glanced back at the closed door. “I don’t have to go for a few days yet. And after that, there’s another gap before we play New York.”

  She caught her breath. He looked down at her, eyes grave. “So will you be with me? At least until then?”

  Staring at him, she saw need, pleading and a touch of sexual arrogance in his steady gaze. “Me? Why me?”

  “Because we communicated, Laura. I’m always restless, especially after a show, and I never sleep well. But I feel content with you. I like you, we talk. And I slept for more than a two-hour stretch.” His mouth twisted into a sardonic smile. “Not forgetting that you’re a great fuck.”

  She couldn’t help it—she burst into laughter.

  *

  “Fancy meeting you here.” Laura looked up from Zazz’s eReader to find Kelsie standing over her, hands on hips.

  “Fancy,” she answered, sitting straighter in the uncomfortable plastic chair. After finding a quiet place for lunch, Zazz had taken Laura to the arena for that afternoon’s sound check. He’d warned her he wouldn’t have much time for her, and she could go back to the hotel if she wanted to. “Not a chance,” she’d told him, and happily followed him in through the stage door. She watched with fascination as the crew milled around her, setting everything up, checking the rigging and making sure the cables that snaked over the stage wouldn’t trip anyone. Gone were the days when the stage was more cable than floor.

  Some of the equipment was radio controlled. The rest of the cables were channeled out of the way in plastic drainage tubes and wind-around cable tidies. The stage set was too complex for the more haphazard techniques of the past. Roadies had evolved into techies, each with their own specialization, sound, light, even one to look after the guitars that were stored in their own self-contained unit onstage. That fascinated Laura, and so did the guitars, but she knew better than to touch them. Nevertheless, someone saw her interest in them.

  “Do you play?”

  Laura spun around to confront Chick. For a big man he was light on his feet. Come to think of it, the thick pullovers and shapeless checked shirts he wore insinuated a figure better than the one she’d first assumed. She wondered how much of his size was muscle. Not that she intended to find out. “Yes, I play guitar. Acoustic, mostly.”

  Chick gave her a look through narrowed eyes. “You’re with Zazz now, right? Are you hoping he’ll give you a spot?”

  “He’s not my client.” She wasn’t breaking any laws, actual or ethical. Then she realized what he was really saying. “And I haven’t told him I play. Or that I write songs. I might, but I’m not stupid enough to think he’d immediately offer to get me into the business. Anyway, I’m not sure I want to. It’s a hobby. Probably better if it stays that way.”

  Chick’s lips flattened. “Bright girl. So you didn’t get with him to—”

  “No.” With difficulty, she put a rein on her temper. “Do people do that often?”

  “You wouldn’t believe how many.” And Zazz being single would happily take them, then send them on to Chick. Great.

  “Not me. If he asks, I’ll tell him. If he wants, I’ll play for him. But that’s as far as it goes.”

  “You’d get further playing for me,” Chick said. “I’ll give you an audition, if you want.”

  Immediately, she shook her head. “Like I said, it’s a hobby. I have a job, a fulfilling career.” At least, it would be to most people. To her it was a steady job, and the result of a deliberate decision she took at eighteen to aim for the practical and achievable.

  Chick glanced around and lowered his voice. “How is he?”

  “You know him? JA?” No need to mention Jimmy’s name, where anybody might overhear, and more than anywhere else, people here would know about Jimmy A.

  “I’ve heard his stuff. Miraculous.”

  “Ah. Well, he’s been better, he’s been worse. Stable, and happier for getting into contact. I wanted to open the avenue, that’s all, give them the chance. He was missing his son.”

  Chick nodded and touched her arm. “Thanks. Keep me updated, will you?”

  She’d tell him as much as she could, but she wasn’t about to break client confidentiality. Chick knew Zazz’s real name, and he knew who his father was, but other matters had to remain confidential. But she said yes, and he moved away when someone yelled his name.

  Kelsie still stood there, watching Riku play with a keyboard on the far side of the stage. Laura wasn’t sure whether it was stage right or stage left, but whichever, Zazz took the middle spot. He plucked a mic from its stand, tossed it in the air, caught it in his other hand and then put it back on the stand.

  “Can we try something guitar heavy?” a disembodied voice asked.

  Zazz nodded. “Fresh Meat?”

  The others nodded and Zazz took the acoustic guitar someone brought over to him.

  Suddenly, what had appeared chaotic form
ed a pattern. Everybody took their places and the crew left the stage to the members of the band. Laura caught her breath. Sound check maybe, but she felt so privileged.

  “Which one is that?” Kelsie asked. “Did they play it last night?”

  Laura shook her head, waiting. Hunter counted them in, and then they swung into one of the hardest, heaviest songs Murder City Ravens had ever performed. Before he started playing his guitar, Riku set an insistent, throbbing beat on one of the electronic instruments on his side of the stage. After Hunter’s count, they just—started.

  Like separate units, as if unaware of the other people on the stage, they played in their own worlds. Then they linked in a single, magical moment, and the tunes combined into one complex melody. Zazz added the cream on top when he began to sing. Quietly at first, setting the mood, then in the quiet-loud technique made famous by Nirvana, they hit something hard, violent and Zazz sang over it all. Before she’d seen the band live, she hadn’t realized what a powerful voice Zazz had, and how precisely in control of it he was.

  She loved this, and watching from the side of the stage enthralled her. Not that they’d allow her here tonight. The arena stage was an open one, with a narrow entrance and exit each side. There wouldn’t be room for anyone who didn’t have to be there. So she stood where tonight, the public would be able to see. But she wanted to see the concert again. Not that she’d ask.

  She didn’t have to. Chick came across to join them and grinned broadly when he saw them dancing. Laura found it impossible to keep still to this one, and her excitement filled her, right down to her feet.

  Eventually, the song finished with, for a change, a major chord. The crew applauded, although Laura doubted the band expected it. And oh shit, the guys with the cameras shut them off. She’d forgotten that they’d sometimes have candid footage taken, for videos and even films. “You might end up in the movie,” Chick said. “We’re thinking of doing a movie of the tour. Just the music, for fans and a few interviews, not one of those film-them-anywhere things. I won’t allow that. The band needs time to unwind, when they know strangers won’t be around.”